Chuck Norris Java Facts

- Chuck Norris serializes objects straight into human skulls.

- Chuck Norris doesn’t deploy web applications, he roundhouse kicks them into the server.
- Chuck Norris always uses his own design patterns, and his favorite is the Roundhouse Kick.

- Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.

- Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your web app will turn into a swing application, and a very bad swing application containing lots of icons of human skulls.

- Chuck Norris demonstrated the meaning of Float.POSITIVE_INFINITY by counting to it, twice.

- A synchronize doesn’t protect against Chuck Norris, if he wants the object, he takes it.

- Chuck Norris doesn’t use javac, he codes java by using a binary editor on the class files.

- Chuck Norris’ java code never needs to be optimized. His code is so fast that it broke the speed of light during a test run in Sun’s labs killing 37 people.

- When someone attempts to use one of Chuck Norris’ deprecated methods, they automatically get a roundhouse kick to the face at compile time.

- The java.lang package originally contained a ChuckNorris class, but it punched its way out the package during a design review and roundhouse kicked Bill Joy in the face.
- Chuck Norris never has a bug in his code, EVER!

- Chuck Norris doesn’t write code. He stares at a computer screen until he gets the progam he wants.

- Code runs faster when Chuck Norris watches it.

- Chuck Norris’ binary edited classes ignore Java bytecode verifier.

- Chuck Norris methods doesn’t catch exceptions becuase no one has the guts to throw any at them.

- Chuck Norris will cast a value to any type just by staring at it.

- If you get a ChuckNorrisException you’ll probably die.

- Chuck Norris is the only one who can use goto and const in Java.

- Chuck Norris can compile Java code in .NET Framework, obviously just by staring at it.

- Chuck dont need to catch an Exception because Java is afraid of the “flying tornado kick” at the moment it throws

- Chuck Norris’s code can roundhouse kick all other Java Objects’ privates

- Java visibility levels are public, default, protected, private and “protected by Chuck Norris”, don’t try to access a field with this
last modifier!!

- Chuck Norris eats JavaBeans and Roundhouse Kicks JavaServer Faces!

- Chuck Norris can divide by 0!

- Garbage collector only runs on Chuck Norris code to collect the bodies.

- Chuck Norris code uses agressive heap natively

- Every single line code of Chuck Norris runs in real time. Even in a multi threading application.

- When a CPU load a Chuck Norris class file, it doubles the speed.

- Chuck Norris can execute 64bit lenght instructions in a 32bit CPU.

- Chuck Norris implements “Indestructible”. All the other creatures implements “Killable”.

- Chuck Norris only program Java web applications to get a .WAR in the end.

- Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a Java class very hard. The result is known as a inner class.

- Chuck Norris can do multiple inheritance in Java.

- JVM never throws exceptions to Chuck Norris, not anymore. 753 killed Sun engineers is enough.

- Chuck Norris doesn’t need unit tests because his code always work. ALWAYS.

- Chuck Norris extends God.

- Chuck Norris workstation has so memory and it’s so powerful that he could run all java applications in the world and get 2% of resources usage.

- Chuck Norris codes generics since 1.3.

- Chuck Norris’ classes can’t be decompiled… don’t bother trying.
  • 15 февраля 2011, 23:37
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Комментарии (4)

Вы - anonymous, войти ?

можно использовать bbcode-теги
[b]жирный текст[/b]
[i]курсив[/i]
[u]underline[/u]
[s]зачеркнутый текст[/s]
[size=20px]размер шрифта[/size]
всякие изменения текста
[left][/left]
[right][/right]
[center][/center]
позиционирование элементов: картинки, текст и т.д
[url][/url]
[email][/email]
внутри тега [url] помещайте ссылки, а внутри [email] адрес электронной почты;
так же [url] можно использовать в виде:
[url=http://example.com]пример[/url],
[url=http://test.ru][img]http://flickr.com/givemeimg.png[/img][/url]
[code][/code]
[quote][/quote]
внутри тега [code] можно помещать программный код (подстветка попытается включиться автоматически); для выделения цитат используйте [quote]
также можно напрямую указать язык [code=cpp]int i;[/code]
[list][/list]
создаем списки, каждый элемент пишется после [*].

Можно указывать маркер - [list=marker].
возможные маркеры 1(decimal), i(lower-roman), I(upper-roman), a(lower-alpha), A(upper-alpha). Примеры:

[list][*]1 элемент[*]2 элемент[*]3 элемент[/list]
[list=1][*]1 элемент[*]2 элемент[*]3 элемент[/list]
[list=A][*]1 элемент[*]2 элемент[*]3 элемент[/list]
[table][/table]
оформляем таблицу, используя внутренние теги [tr] и [td].
[tr] - строка, [td] - поле в строке,
[table=100%] - можно задавать ширину в процентах, по-умолчанию ширина 100%
[td=2] - можно задавать сколько столбцов входит в это поле. Пример:

[table=50%][tr][td]столбец 1[/td][td]столбец 2[/td][/tr][tr][td]значение 1[/td][td]значение 2[/td][/tr][tr][td=2]сразу 2 столбца[/td][/tr][/table]
[img][/img]
тег для вставки фото или картинок, мы любим картинки. Примеры использования:

[img]http://ya.ru/logo.png[/img],
[img=100x100px]http://ya.ru/logo.png[/img]
[img=fullimg.url]thumbimg.url[/img],
Пожалуйста загружайте картинки на наш сайт, либо вставляйте с бекбоновских ресурсов.
[video][/video]
Проигрывает видео, внутрь вставляем ссылки на видео, поддерживается Play.Ykt.Ru(нужно вставить ссылку на страницу с видео) и tv.ykt.ru(нужно вставить ссылку на адрес файла)